Tag Archives: Blessings

HALCYON – The Galactic StarCruiser

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THIS WAS MEANT TO BE PUBLISHED IN JUNE OF 2023, but I never hit “publish,” so my bad.  I’ll put a little note at the end about my results.

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Yesterday was a rollercoaster of a day. I’m going to talk about my stress and Disney and being a geek, and if that stuff doesn’t interest you, feel free to check out. It may be long. (I always do this. Sorry. Not sorry. You can choose to check out at any time.
WHAT IT IS: So for those of you that vaguely heard something about Disney and the Galactic Starcruiser, here is the situation in a nutshell. Disney built a very ambitious hotel which would immerse a guest in the Star Wars universe. They hired actors who play aliens of all different races, each with a back story, wrote a story that would take place over 48 hours, and basically created a 48 hour Star Wars LARP that includes special effects, and a total immersion that only Disney could provide, not only as the license owner of the intellectual property, but as the people who constructed the hotel and were able to mix special effects into the construction. The hotel, which only has 100 rooms, is meant to be the Galactic Starcruiser, a ship that travels through space….so in order to keep that illusion going there are no windows, unless they are generating a starfield background. In addition, you have to take a “space shuttle” to get there, and I’m not even sure how that works, if it’s a bus or a simulator or both…probably both. Parts of the hotel must be attached to motion simulators, if not all of it. The food has been designed to look alien (there are blue shrimp, I hear, that are delicious) and all the actors, ALL of them, have back stories so you can ask them about their lives, how they ended up there, what they’ve been doing, etc. and THEY ARE READY not only to answer those questions, but also to give you pieces of information that will influence your choices for the next 48 hours.
You can choose to side with the Rebels, the First Order, the Smugglers, whatever you choose. Your choices affect the trip. I found out yesterday that if you share details with someone else and then in a conversation with one of the actors if they find out you know something, they will commission you to be a spy, sometimes not for the team you were intending to play for, and that the First Order can be a bit aggressive about that. (How do you know that? WHO told you? WHO WAS IT?). You can also be taught how to play the card game Sabacc (there is a tournament on the ship) be given Jedi Training (included in the trip!) and be taught how to run the bridge or be given a tour of the engine room (both also included). There are also “excursions” you can pay for just like any cruise ship. Rob introduced me to a friend of his, Kat Cawley, (she does STUNNING cosplay, and if you get a chance to check out her page you should) who had done this trip TWICE already, and was hoping to get in a THIRD trip before it shut down. It turns out there are MANY people like that.
This level of immersion, as you can imagine, requires very personal attention, and also a lot of attention to details. Hence the maximum 100 rooms in the hotel. And the exorbitant price tag. A room on the Starcruiser costs approximately 2K per person for 2 days. And because of that, the Starcruiser wasn’t filling up as much or as fast as they hoped, and the project, which was originally meant to run indefinitely, was scrapped, and given a final voyage date at the end of September.
Except there were people scheduled after September…so all those people had to be contacted, and given first choice of rescheduling earlier. They set about a week to do that, and then said they would open reservations to the public at 7am on Friday morning.
WHO I AM: I love Star Wars. I’m not a nerd about it (not that there’s anything wrong with that, I’m a little envious of it to be honest but I just can’t remember that much detail), but Star Wars makes me cry and squee and it brings me so much joy I can’t express it. I am emotionally invested in this property in a way I can’t explain. It’s not real life, but it matters to me who wins, because there is so much shit in the world right now and SW is a bright spot where good and evil are constantly in flux, and the people can always join together and make a difference, your moral structure and belief in kindness and goodness actually matters, and it is inspiring and beautiful. Going on the Starcruiser has been part of my dream since I heard it was being built, and the financial end of it has been a bone of contention in our house for a long time. The week before they released the news that they were shutting down I was literally having a discussion about getting a second job to do this because it was so important to me, and I was afraid that they were going to shut it down.
When the news came out I was devastated. I was crying quite a bit, and I’m crying now just typing this. I wanted this thing so very badly, and now it was now or never. Rob and I re-discussed everything and decided to re-allocate some funds that were put on the side for a different trip so that we could do this. We figured out a flexible plan deciding when we would leave and come back in relation to the trip (Arrive the day before, stay in a DVC, head to the Starcruiser, head home right after checkout, lose as little work time as possible, do NOT extend the stay). Then we just had to wait until Friday for the release date and hope we could get in.
WHAT HAPPENED: Friday I had the day off from work, but I set my alarm for 6am. I wanted to make coffee and be awake to start dialing. I had gone to the website, looked at available “sail dates” and written down four dates in order of preference. I had written down all information needed, and had my credit card ready. I drank my coffee and waited for 7am. All the sale dates through the end of September were pretty open. It seemed like it wouldn’t be too hard.
When I started dialing, I couldn’t get through. I DON’T MEAN GET THROUGH TO A PERSON. I mean the circuits were so busy the call was failing. That message didn’t even come from Disney…it came from Verizon. I just kept hitting redial, and I started keeping little hash marks because I was going to have a story, and it was going to be funny about my dedication and all the calls I made.
By the time it was 7:20 I had called 60 times already. I knew I would have to stop counting and figured I would estimate it at 180 calls per hour. Couldn’t be much longer, right? I would have to get through at some point, and when I did, I’d get a reservation.
At 7:35 I started getting a message that said, “All circuits are busy,” so that was a step up. But it still wasn’t getting through to Disney at all. I wasn’t daunted. I kept going.
At 8:45 I got through to Disney for the first time, but not to a person. I got a message that said, “You have reached the Galactic Starcruiser….yadda yadda….We are not accepting reservations at this time.” I sent a text to Rob saying, “WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?” Were they full? Did they stop? Did the systems go down? WTAF? And meanwhile, the reservations in August were starting to fill up. Anxiety started to kick in. I didn’t give it too much weight and just focused on redialing and redialing. I realized that not everyone interested in this thing would be able to just drop and go the way we could. I had spoken to my boss, telling him that I was shooting for late June, (Anything later would definitely affect my High Holiday work and I truly wanted to avoid that) but that I would have to take whatever was available, and I wouldn’t know until we got the date and he was okay with that…but I didn’t want to drop and go tomorrow either. But Friday was the 26th, and there WAS a sailing leaving on the 27th…could we get there in 24 hours? I didn’t even know if that was possible.
At 9:20 I was still redialing. I set up a text chat with Disney on my computer, and they said that all we could do was keep trying. I had thought surely this would have been resolved by now, but no.
At 10:45 I got a real message. It said that I was on hold for a cast member, and the approximate wait time was ten minutes. AWESOME. I waited, gathered all my information. I refreshed the available dates page….August was filling up, but if it was going from latest to earliest like it seemed to be going I would have no problem getting mid June. Piece of cake.
EXCEPT when I got a live person they said that the system is down, they aren’t taking any new reservations at this time, and that I should call back later in the day…maybe give it about four hours, and try again.
I could tell the person that told me that wasn’t a fan, didn’t understand this at all, and was delivering a message he was told to deliver. To quote my friend Andy, “LISTEN, KAREN! THIS IS LIFE OR DEATH!!!!” and in my head I’m screaming, “YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS MEANS TO ME.” I decide I’ll call every half hour until I get through, and then set a timer for a half hour from that moment.
At that point I felt really lost. I asked Rob what to do, because him and his mom are usually the ones that deal with Disney reservation drama, and I was worried that I was being excessive. At that point it was 11:35, and I had been calling non-stop since 7am. I couldn’t tell if I was doing the thing that I needed to do in order to get the thing I want, or if I was being obsessive and I should just let it go. I had no idea whether I should continue or what. Rob didn’t want to pressure me in any particular direction, but he supported me if I wanted to keep calling. Then I looked at the website again, and more dates in August were down. I went back to calling.
It started to be a rough pattern. It took about a half hour of redialing to get the point where I would be put on hold to speak to a person, who would tell me to try again in about four hours or later in the evening, and I would say thank you, hang up, and hit redial, and keep doing so for about a half hour until I got through to a person again, who would tell me the same thing.
By 1pm I was losing faith. I was crying. There was only one sail date left in August, and July was starting to fill up. When I got a live person I was crying on the phone with them. I kept saying, “I’m sorry, I know it’s not your fault. I’ve just been calling nonstop for five hours.”
The June dates we were looking at were still open, so that was good, and I just kept calling. At 1:20 someone told me that they were working on 6 hours of backlog in the calls…but before then it was 4 hours, so SOMEBODY was getting through. And reservations were being made, I could tell when I refreshed the available sail dates. At that point, I started getting angry and resentful…not that I had to go through this process, but that we hadn’t done it sooner, when there was no pressure and no rush, when we could have had our pick of dates. I was recognizing that I might not get to do this thing, and it was because we had been fighting over money and that’s stupid when we pay off our credit card in full every month. I could miss out on this amazing thing because we didn’t want to carry a balance, and once it’s gone it’s gone, I will not have this opportunity again. This will not exist again.

August and September were now completely full, and only four dates were good in July. But the dates we wanted in June were still good.

 

By 1:45 only one of them was good. I had to refresh our optional sale dates. This time I chose six dates based on availability.

By 2:40pm only six sail dates were left…and one was sailing the following day. I was starting to get through more often, but it wasn’t to the actual starcruiser line…it was to a customer service center that handles the overflow. So they couldn’t make reservations, and they didn’t get the geek thing, and it was heartwrenching. I kept calling because I knew if I gave up I would never forgive myself for not doing everything that I could do. Hangup, redial, hangup, redial, hangup, redial.
At 3:04pm I got a response that was different. I got a cast member, and she asked me questions that were different. Among them was, “Are you aware that if you get a date you need to put X percent down at the time of booking?” WHAT?!? We’re talking MONEY?!? Am I close? Does that mean I’m in?
There were only four dates left, one of them being the following day and not possible. She transferred me to a different line, where the hold time was five minutes.  I got a person.  We talked.  I refreshed the availability and three dates were left.  AS WE WERE ON THE PHONE ANOTHER DATE SOLD OUT…And then we got in.
It wasn’t the original plan. I wanted Juneteenth weekend because I wouldn’t miss any days of work at all, but that date was sold out…but I am grateful. And I scribbled the following information as fast as I could from the phone call. It isn’t everything, but it’s some of the “onboard” activities.
11 am check in and bag drop off
Orientation at 1:45
4:30pm reception
7:15 “regalia” whatever that is
9:45 show
7-11am breakfast
Batuu from 8 to 330 or stay on board for activities
Celebration at 9:30pm
Breakfast between 7 and 10am
And of course, there is all the extracurriculars of role play.
Rob and I are spending the day watching the newer movies again…because Ren makes an appearance, as does Kylo and Chewbacca….so that means it’s later in the timeline, and we want to be well versed.

……I called for 8 hours straight. And I got in.

 

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I am so glad and so grateful that we did this.  If I had huge amounts of disposable income I would have done it twice, but I do not.  I just know that I would have regretted it forever if I didn’t do it.  The experience was great, and if you’re not a geek or a larper you would still have enjoyed it, but for me with my SW love, it was heaven.

 

TOGETHER.  AS ONE.

 

Halcyon Forever.

MSC 2024

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Thoughts on MSC 2024

I am always transformed in some way by MSC.

You’ve probably seen my annual posts about Midwest Shamans Conference. In public, (meaning on my wall here) I only really talk about it once a year, and usually that is after I have come back. That is on purpose…there is so much energy at this conference and it really evolves you in your healing practice at a much faster rate than normal. That means that, if you’re not prepared for that energy you can be overwhelmed or really jarred. I will only bring one new person with me at a time because a part of my energy is spent in helping that person process. There is just A LOT to process, your own abilities, new knowledge, the way you move in the world, new points of view, additional skillsets, deeper thought…sometimes that stuff is so jarring people shut down, and if I am bringing someone I love (and if I’m bringing them, I love them, because I’m not camping or rooming with people I do not intimately love and trust) I try to make sure they aren’t freaking out or anything. There’s usually at least one meltdown per newcomer, so there’s a little triage happening in my corner of the world, and I need to be able to do MY learning, too. Lots of classes, workshops, elders to get advice from, elders to just catch up with because I miss them, elders to tell how much their words have meant to me and how they changed my life this past year. I can’t fit more than one new person into that every year and still get my own work done. So usually the new person is one of my students that I feel is ready.

There were a lot of newcomers this year. I mean…A LOT of newcomers…we were actually about 50/50 on veterans vs. newcomers. That is huge. There’s usually about a 75/25 ratio, or even less. They weren’t MY newcomers, so I wasn’t responsible in the same way, but you know, you want to make people welcome, make sure they are okay. There’s also kind of a maintenance thing happening there…let me see you here, before this all starts so that when I see you later I have a gauge for if you are your normal self or need some help. I don’t know if everyone else does that, I know that I do.

I also check for huggers, cuz y’know me, and that’s a good energy gauge, too. How do they feel? Are they open? Are they TOO open? Do they love themselves? Love the world? Are they fearful? Intimidated? Sometimes people just need a friendly face to feel anchored and safe at a gathering. There were no really fearful people that I saw this year. There were some closed off folks, which is fine, but no one came completely closed, and all of them in their various stages of growth and work were pretty loving people, so that was neat. It meant a really good vibe for the conference, and kind of a camaraderie as the classes came through that was just SWEET, I mean, yes, in the emotional sense, but what I mean is in the honey and sugar sense…there was this sweetness in the vibe that felt like a nice dessert.

It was my first time really teaching this year. I taught once before as a fill-in for a cancellation, but it was last minute and only one person came that wasn’t from the group that came with me so I didn’t feel like it was a real test of my skills at all. My teaching slot was the first morning slot on Sunday.

At a gaming con, that is the WORST slot. Most people are exhausted, are packing up their rooms, and many of them skip the first Sunday slot, so I was wondering how many people would turn up. I mean, it was fine either way, my ego is not tied into how many people attend…I have a job to disseminate information, and I will do that job regardless of who turns up. I figured if people were meant to be there, they would be there. I also did NOT canvas for my class or even mention (except to Erin because I thought she could use it, and also because she gave me an amazing gift of this anti-itch crème that she had made herself that REALLY REALLY WORKS. Its amazing! Thank you Erin!) to anyone that I was going to have a class. I figured, they had a program booklet. They would find me if they were supposed to. (And also, if a person turns up at a gaming con for that slot, they REALLY WANT TO BE THERE, so there’s always that comfort as well.)

My class was in the Barn, a place where people converge to hang out with food, or shop, or whatever. I walked in and there were so many people I figured they didn’t know class was about to start. “Are all you guys here for my class?” “Yes.” Holy crap. I had about twenty people, maybe even more.

Okay. Welcome to my TED talk.

I had made myself some outline notes so I wouldn’t skip anything. I digressed a lot, but all of my digressions had points. If you’ve ever seen me do public speaking (Hi LARPers!) you know that I pretty much talk just like I normally talk to one person, I just try to make sure I make eye contact with some folks as I do it. I had the benefit of a small area to pace back and forth, which gave me the ability to get out some energy as I was speaking, and also look to see if I was reaching people, and answer questions as they came along.

It was nice in those moments to be able to practice what I preach…to have a question where I had to stop and ask my guides how much I should say, or what pieces of information I was missing. There was one point in the beginning where I said my prayers for all of the guides and all the things, and then someone came in late, so I kind of added them in, and I think when the next latecomer came in I was like, “I’d like to just include all latecomers in this prayer because I can’t stop every time this happens,” and my guides said that was fine. Astraea popped in later in the class and it was nice to have her as backup for further information. Darryl and Jessica were there too, and I should have leaned on them a bit more often. I feel now like they would have had additional commentary or story that would have fleshed some things out more. It takes a village as they say.

I made some new friends, which is always nice and exchanged some numbers with people. People kept saying, “You are so funny!” and I was like, “Why do people always say that?” I’m never really TRYING to be funny, it just kind of happens, and I get so focused on the message that I don’t really notice that people think I’m funny until they tell me. I never feel laughed AT or anything…I just genuinely don’t know what was funny and it’s kind of like I missed a joke that I myself told, lol. (Which ironically, I feel is really funny.) People said it’s my delivery. I feel like maybe it happens because I love myself and I admit my mistakes or my confusion without embarrassment and maybe we all just identify with that, and that makes it funny. There’s this kind of universal experience in the shamanic world where our head kind of spins around for a moment going, “WTF was THAT?” and we have to digest it. It’s funny because it’s true.

The important piece, though, is that people were taking notes, writing things down, taking that home with them. To see that something I said (and I don’t get caught up in what those things are so I don’t really know, I just keep talking so I don’t lose the flow or derail my train of thought) so resonates with people that they all suddenly start writing…that is what is supposed to happen. At the end I asked my guides if I had missed anything and they said no. Then they said I did a good job and they were very proud of me and I felt this wave of love from them and I almost burst into tears at the end. It was this very palpable love burst. I have the best ancestors and guides, they are so good to me.

Afterwards several people came to speak to me about it (hence the, “you are so FUNNY,” comment from earlier because I heard that more than once) but some of the connections were deep and I’ve already been on the phone with a couple of them (and more calls coming today). It’s nice to see people rooting into The Work. It’s sad to have to tell them that there are no shortcuts, that it is rewarding work, but there are no shortcuts, not if you want the results you are looking for.

Some people said, “I didn’t know you were an Elder,” and I was like, “So that’s kind of a funky word. To my knowledge we don’t have a croning or elderhood ceremony. I’m not sure if the people I call Elders would call me that yet. I’m kind of at this in-between stage because I’ll be 60 next year. But there’s a book that’s good to read about it. The word means different things to different people, but I’m not caught up in the title, so you can call me that if you like, or not. I just don’t want to claim a title that might not belong to me or pretend to have a status I do not have,” and I told them about Joy’s and Lillith’s book and about some important bits in it. (Amazon Link here: https://www.amazon.com/Heart-Elder-Elders-Their-Influence/dp/1912241048 ).

Most importantly I told them that when you come to MSC it feels joyful. You have finally found a place where you can talk about all the things that are happening to you and not be told you’re crazy, and that is energetic and fantastic, and you just want to get it all out, to share it all because you have no place else to put it. “And I get that, I really do because we all go through it. But what you really came here to do is LEARN. And you cannot learn and speak at the same time. If you interrupt an elder when they are speaking, they may stop, and then whatever piece of knowledge they were about to give you it is GONE. Poof. In the wind. We don’t know how long we will have our elders, and when they pass, all the knowledge that they have will also pass. If you don’t want to lose that opportunity, you need to listen to them more than you speak, no matter how joyful those words are, no matter how happy you are to finally be heard…if they are speaking, don’t interrupt, just listen.”

It’s super tough to do. I mean, I’m sure I probably do it all the time. But certainly a lot less than I used to. One of the things I have really loved about learning from Joy is the respect for the pause in things. Taking time to chew on words before you speak them. That the silence before speaking is respect, respect for you, for your time, for your question, because the question requires thought, it deserves thought, and that pause is so that you can mean what you say when you speak. It’s a beautiful thing.

I guess my transformational piece this year is the confirmation that my ego is not really caught up in this work. I suspected that because I was working towards it, but to see for myself and FEEL that I’m not caught up in whether or not I’m an elder, or even whether or not I am teaching, whether or not people come to my class, that I’m just looking to deliver whatever message Spirit feels I need to be giving at that time, that’s lovely. To see it well received and valued is even lovelier. I feel like I am where I am meant to be at this time, and that, also, is lovely.

Life is good, and I am content.

Thank you Joy, for allowing me to teach at your event. The event itself is a blessing. To be allowed to contribute even more so.