Tag Archives: Lammas

Lughnasadh 2019

Lughnasadh is my favorite holiday, in spite of the spelling challenges it presents. I love this retrospective aspect to it, this kind of leaning on the plow and looking at the fields (“Behold, my field of fucks, and see that it is barren!”) and the work of the year. This is the closest I come to really evaluating how far I’ve come…I really only do this once a year. If my therapist doesn’t make me go deeper, I never really do. I’m too busy moving forward to stand too long and really evaluate it. Mostly, I just look at the year.

First Harvest is your opportunity to Back Out Now Before It’s Too Late. (Not that it’s ever too late. It’s never too late to stop dead and start over.) It’s the opportunity to say, “How much energy am I really putting into this thing? And how much of a harvest am I going to get out of it? What kind of direction is this thing going in?” And This Thing might be a relationship, a job, a hobby, a particular piece of art, it could be anything.

My family has moved many, many times. I stopped counting after the thirteenth move, and I feel like, where most people see stress in moving, I see new opportunities, new people to meet, new places to discover. I don’t mind moving so much.

Or moving on.

One of the advantages of having that lifestyle is that, when you get tired of shit, you just go. Leaving is easy, so much easier than actually sticking it out and working it out. So new job, new friends, new house, new life….whatever. It’s doable. It’s doable at any time.

One of the things I love about Lughnasadh nowadays is the stability I feel. I don’t need to move so much anymore. I don’t need to lose friends and make new ones…my current friends are damned fine people, beautiful people in fact, who are loving and kind and caring and funny and smart, and who don’t take joy in the pain of other people. I like these people. I sometimes worry about adding more, I feel like I don’t spend enough time with any of them, like there’s not enough Me to go around. But when I look at this particular harvest I am amazed with how little effort it takes to receive so much love. I mean, literally, I can just say, “I’m having a hard time today, can I have some extra love?” and they give, give, give in so many ways. This is a good harvest.

My shamanic training is also harvesting well. I wish I could explain it to you, but it’s all too freaky to feel comfortable putting into words. But it brings me joy, and new people to help, and they get really helped by it, not even a little bit. Amazing things happen and I see it evolving. I am grateful as my shamanic vision increases (I’m starting to see things now, so that’s new) and the voices of my ancestors are really clear about doing this thing and not the other thing. It’s such a great place to be.

My job is awesome. A new executive director is coming in and, would you believe it? He’s a gamer! He’s actually made a Call of Cthulu reference! Go figure! And he’s really nice too, and tech savvy, so this should be fun. I didn’t do the work for that particular harvest, other than landing the job and continually doing it, but that counts. I’m grateful.

My marriage kicks ass. For all our difficult conversations, I feel heard and valued. We work together to solve our problems, and it all falls together. I feel supported and loved.

This is a good harvest. Maybe I feel that way because I try to walk the talk as much as possible, and walking that talk brings me to this place. Living my integrity and my truth brings me to the place of balance and peace. I don’t know. But I feel this year I have planted really well. The fruits popping their way out of the soil are the juiciest and sweetest yet.

If your harvests are not bringing you joy, this is your chance. This is where you choose one of three courses of action.

– you back out now and give up on the things that aren’t flowering
– you pay a little closer attention to the things that aren’t flowering and give them a little more energy
– you invest your energy in the things that aren’t flowering, instead of the things that are

Choose wisely. Winter comes for all of us, and you will need things to sustain you. If you evaluate honestly at Lughnasadh, your winter will be easier. There’s a second harvest before the third. You don’t have to cut things dead now if you don’t want to…but you should know the choices that you are making. You should know that you are breathing life into things that may never draw breath. There is nothing wrong with making that choice, nothing at all….but you should be honest with yourself when you make it. The results should not take you by surprise.

I love this holiday because I love the fairness of it. I love how I choose my destiny at this time. I love how the choices I make now have the potential to bring me more joy in the future. I love how my perennials bloom every year with hardly any maintenance at all. I love how I weed every day of the year, so there are no big jobs to plague me at this time. I love the way the coolness of the day starts at sunset, and how watching the sun go down is so relaxing when I know all the hard work is done. I can really rest. My life is really good and I love it.

My wish for you this Lughnasadh is Clear Sight. I wish that you look on your fields with a clear eye and see what is growing and what is not. I wish that you throw your energy into the things that bring you joy, and that you stop tending the things that bring you sorrow. I wish that you see the things that are already dead, and that you also see the things that only need a little more attention to thrive, and that you do not confuse the two.

I wish that you count your Self among your harvests, and that you are pleased with what you see.

I wish the best for you. I wish for your growth, and for your future. I wish for your contentment and peace.

So mote it be.

Lammas 2017

Lammas. Lunasadgh. First Harvest.

I didn’t write yet for first harvest this year. I didn’t have ritual this year either. Ritual is something that has come into my life on a more regular basis. Ironically, as prone as I am to the “Deep Dive” I have gone shallow for ritual…5 or 10 minutes daily. My teacher says I need to revisit that, go deeper, and I’m surprised at the fact that I haven’t been doing that already. I seek information, and I get it….I get it at an astonishing rate…so fast that I’m downloading it and storing it without processing it. I need to process. I need to stop this almost BitTorrent pace, and instead replay in slow motion…listen to the commentaries….translate the dreams, the omens, whatever it is I’ve been given.

I’ve been given a great many lovely things, a giant tiger cowrie shell slightly smaller than a football, symbols for my hands and head, flowers for my body and crown. Dreams in which my sense of self literally balances on a pinpoint, and moving through my own history can throw me off balance. I’ve heard the voices of my ancestors (and it’s one thing to hear your own ancestors because that’s a total conversation in your own head that you can write off as “talking to myself” at any time) but I’ve heard the voices of OTHER people’s ancestors with very specific details, and when I’ve pulled that out of the air and given it to them and they respond with shock and surprise that I know something so PERSONAL…I just have to accept that something is happening, something I don’t understand, something that will someday have an explanation but right now is just an experience. I have accepted it at experience level. My teacher says I should go deeper. I feel waist deep already. Balls deep, as they say. I’m wandering through swamp up to my hips. Gods know what the hell is below my sight line.

This is the nature of the First Harvest. You can look at the work you’re doing, see what bears fruit. You can see which things are possibly just not going to make it this year. You can use this point to evaluate, to focus your energy on the things that are coming up for you, and to stop tending to dying harvests. Everything doesn’t always blossom. Sometimes the dirt is too hard or dry. Sometimes the sunlight is too strong, or not strong enough. Sometimes we just have to let things go.

I’m evaluating my harvests. I want to know that what I’m doing is more than just enough to sustain me. I want to know that what I am growing is nutritious and bountiful, that it will nurture me AND others. It is not enough for me to just survive anymore. I have to thrive. I DESERVE to thrive. I am good and kind, I work hard, I help others when I can, I sustain myself without much assistance. It is not enough. I want my life to be motion and dance, electricity and flashing neon, and the quiet darkness of contentment.

First harvest. Clarissa Pinkola Estes says, “…The Creation Mother is always also the Death Mother and vice versa. Because of this dual nature, or double-tasking, the great work before us is to learn to understand what around and about us and what within us must live, and what must die…” As women, it is our nature to care for other things before we take care of ourselves. That’s why we have breasts. It’s in our DNA. It is not in our nature to just allow something to die.”

I want. I want many things. First harvest gives me an idea of what is possible and what is not. I wish you blessings on your harvest. I wish you keen sight to see what is actually in front of you, as opposed to what you wish were there. I wish you strength to let things go. I wish you perseverance to hold onto the things you wish to keep. Harvest is a time of work, and there are two more harvests to go. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.

I wish you good and true sight. Make your decisions. Your second harvest depends on it.