I’ve been thinking about this for a while…I posted it on one of my spiritual groups, but not all of my friends are on that, and this is actually more materially based, kind of. I mean, the mental maintenance is a little of both…mental stress can cause physical illness or dysfunction in the workplace, but it can also get in the way of spiritual processes…we can be too stressed to meditate, pray, study, or whatever it is we do to bring ourselves closer to Wholeness, Oneness, or our Deity of Choice.

I remember when I was doing a lot of martial arts study (there was a period in my life when I spent a few years doing this, that or the other, until I fell into Kung Fu like a big fluffy bed and lived there for the longest) that I realized that people do with their mind what they do with their body. Those people who were manically focused on defense were also manically focused on not letting anyone become close to them emotionally. (Ironically, I was super focused on in-fighting and blind-fighting. There is something super fascinating to me about being able to hit a target I’m not looking at. So I guess that translates into being super-aware of my world, possibly manically so…but it’s never been out of fear, its been out of enjoyment. It feels like when you’re fishing and a fish strikes the line…it’s this hyper-focus thing… in-fighting, is this super-intimate kind of sparring where you’re really close together and don’t have room for a full swing, so it’s all elbows and wrist strikes. Make of that what you will…I’m digressing.)

So anyway, in the same way I do microcosm-macrocosm thinking, I do the same thing with mind and body, back and forth, and always with a martial arts head…how is my stance? Am I stable? Do I retain my physical power/personal power in this physical stance/emotional position? Am I wasting energy? And (in the way of the Eastern arts) is this beautiful to me? Do I feel at peace?

Fast forward to the last year, where I am having regular conversations with a nutritionist. All of the major stuff is not important to this particular topic…what IS important is an off-hand comment she made as a hint for how/when to eat. “Do not eat when you are hungry,” she said. “Eat when you feel peckish.”

I, like many of you, lead a busy life, and I have many responsibilities both at work and at home that kind of forced me to not think about eating. In order to eat her recommended 5 meals a day I had to set an alarm on my phone and force myself to eat, even if I wasn’t hungry.

This was hard. It felt stupid. But I did it. And eventually I started learning to notice that I was starting to feel hungry and I put it aside because I just wanted to finish this project I was on. The same thing was happening with taking a pee break….I kept thinking, “let me just finish this one thing,” and then a phone call would come, and then I would get caught up in a project, and all this time would go by when I would suddenly go, “omg I really gotta pee,” and have to go right away. I was doing this with my hunger, putting off eating until I was really really hungry, and then eating an enormous amount to deal with it, which really isn’t good for your body.

So recently, I made one of these mind/body connections that I’ve been sitting on to really digest, as it were. Because what I’m doing with my body, I’m doing with my mind.

My job has become more stressful this year for multiple reasons, and there is EVERY sign that this is going to get worse before it gets better. High Holy day season starts now in the back office, and that means the workload and expectations will only increase, and help is not coming. I have to evaluate that seeing as stress is one of those things that really impacts me in a bad way. (I lose sleep, I get sick, I cry, I feel powerless and helpless, and I don’t want to do that to myself this year.) I was thinking about how to maintain it, and this kind of light bulb went off in my head.

Don’t self-maintain when you NEED it.
Self-maintain when you’re THINKING about MAYBE needing it.

I wasn’t sure if it was valid or if it would work, so I started incorporating it into my practice. I had a day where I was just having a hard time with the idea of going to work. I knew I could make myself do it, it was what I had always done before, but for a change I decided to take a mental health day. I didn’t have any plans, I just was going to stay home and do whatever my body wanted to do that day, and I followed it around the house, sometimes cleaning, sometimes cooking, sometimes napping or playing video games. But I let it kind of steer me around and do what it needed and the next day when I came back to work I was SO refreshed…like, way better than a weekend. I had “topped off my tank” and this has lasted more than a week now, in spite of other stresses, so I’m going to say it works.

I’m spending more time listening to my body lately. I’m checking in with myself during my work day. I imagine that, for people that had normal, healthy upbringings (the 2 or 3 of you that are out there, I’m sure you must exist) that this is second nature to you…but for me, when you grow up in a dysfunctional environment survival trumps EVERYTHING… you put all your needs on hold to survive. But I’m not just surviving anymore, I’m learning how to really THRIVE, and if I’m going to do that, I can’t keep acting as if I’m barely surviving.

My stance is good. I am balanced. I’m at peace. Thriving is like blind-fight sparring. You can’t really see what’s coming, but there’s these beautiful moments of connection where the world comes together and you can see your place in it. With practice and care, nobody gets hurt, and there’s this sense of surfing the currents of the world.

Take the break when you think you MIGHT need one, not when you are SURE you need one. The break can be taking a work-from-home day, or a full day off. It can be calling a friend on your lunch break. Or reading a book. Or whatever brings you peace. Bring your artsy-craftsy stuff to work and go in a back room to do it, or sit in your car. Anything. But BEFORE you NEED it. As soon as you START WONDERING IF you need it.

It makes more of a difference than you think it will.

I wish you peace, contentment, and a good, strong, balanced stance.