Tag Archives: love

Beltaine 2019 – Live Deliciously

This has been quite a life, thus far.

Beltaine falls at this time of year where the planet is juuust coming into ripeness and fullness. We are each of us, ripe and full with different things. Sometimes we are literally ripe and ready to conceive, and sometimes we are just at the point where we are ready to move forward into a new thing, something we have been dying to try but have not been ready to before now. New crafts, new recipes, a new activity….maybe finally step into the gym, or into a retirement….it’s all of those things, but they all have one thing in common.

It’s the EXPERIENCE of it, you see. The experience of trying something new.

When you try a new food, you smell it, look at it…you chew it and roll it around in your mouth to test the texture and taste…you experience that food in a different way than you do, say, a burger, because you don’t EXPERIENCE burgers anymore….you just eat them.

There is a quote from The Witch (an excellent period horror movie that is well written and acted, and not filled with silliness) which is, “Would you like to live deliciously?”

Imagine that you are a puritan, super suppressed, joy is limited to those things that involve your concept of God…how tempting, how liberating (how intimidating? How frightening?) is that question?

Pagans in general (and there are always exceptions, for there are so many branches of Pagan) experience Deity in every-day life. Sunrises, or the migration of birds, the smell of grass, the sound of water, the beauty of the bonfire. All these things are sacred to us, and sometimes we forget that we should be experiencing them in addition to just looking at them. There are things in our every day lives that can be experienced more fully….I often think about it when taking the clothes out of the dryer. I love the warmth, the smell of fabric softener or detergent, I use Patchouli laundry detergent, or Frankincense and Myrrh. It’s a job, sure, but it’s also a little interlude where I can bury my face in that smell and just enjoy and be grateful that this is in my world. When I was younger, I was too poor to afford fabric softener, and I often had to take my clothes to a laundromat. This luxury of doing clothes at home is lovely. Sure, it’s a chore, but it’s also so much better than my life before. I think of that when I do vacuuming, or when I am loading the dishwasher. My life has led me to this place where I know these things are luxuries, and I am grateful. And I experience them BECAUSE I am grateful, not just doing the chores.

My Beltaine wish for you is that you find your deliciousness, whatever it is, and you spend some time doing that. If you already know what it is, I wish that your technique of enjoyment spreads to other things, so you can live even more deliciously than before. If you are with a significant other, rediscover your partner (sensually or otherwise)….if you are alone, rediscover your Self. (Sensually or otherwise…You deserve that time, believe me.)

Life is Delicious…Savor and Devour it. Get the juice on your chin, the berry-stains on your fingers. Roll around in it, get the smell in your hair and clothes and skin.

As long as you are breathing there will be more, and someday you will breathe no more. Don’t disservice yourself by living with less. Always reach for more. Be a glutton for Joy.

Blessed Beltaine.

Dexcon 2018

Every con is something different, you know? Every time, it’s like falling into this environment, and for me, every time it’s like I’m a different person. As if the Role Play wasn’t enough, I myself evolve in leaps and bounds, sometimes in the middle of the con itself, and sometimes because of long-ranging after effects. It’s literally chemistry, each of us with loose bits and pieces that spin off and connect to others…we bond, we separate, we spin, (or we remain noble, like the gases, and not changing no matter what happens to us). There are catalysts that change us long after we are gone, if we sit, digest, examine. I love being with my people. This time around was me learning that yes, they like to be with me too. I forget that sometimes. The Elder had said, “See yourself the way we see you and rejoice, the way we rejoice when we see you.” There was a lot of looking to see myself in the face of others. I love what I see, so thank you all.

My favorite moments at the con were surprising ones for me. I was overwhelmed by Giganta in her wrestling glory, cracking coconuts on her biceps and roaring. That woman brought so much RP to the table it expanded my capabilities at later games. She, AHT , managed to spread it around for me so I could do and be more later on. Thank you A….I feel like you made me a better gamer. That was run by the lovely JZ, wrestling fan extraordinaire….I think my favorite prop is the microphone and when he does the commentary. It’s just different when you can ask a question and push the microphone into someone’s face, somehow.

In Bulldogs with Brennan I played a character that was physically cute (kind of like the Geico lizard) and every person at the table was so open to rolling with whatever that I turned into a tourist in the bad neighborhood, snapping Selfies when there was a mugging in the background, and doing the equivalent of wearing an “I ♥ NY” shirt and carrying around a map looking at the sky scrapers. It was ridiculous and fun, and I really liked how we all just rolled with that character in the same game as Steve’s raptor, literally trying to kill and eat people for starting trouble with us. Bulldogs is a lovely universe. There needs to be stories written in this venue. Brennan Taylor, is there fan fiction here? There should be.

I was most surprised by the blood lust raised in S’s Velvet Glove game. By the end of the game I had used a soldering iron to brand the words “Not Safe. Do Not Fuck,” on this guy’s chest because he put one of our girl gang members in the hospital. I forget, sometimes, how I have such a vindictive side. It feels like this game is a safe outlet for that. I’ll have to try again to be sure, though, so expect me again at some point, Seraphina, if you’ll have me.

Out of character there were surprises too. KS ran a Swords Without Master game, which ran primarily on storytelling, and only used dice to determine the tone of the story at a given moment. I spent some time rolling around in that, feeling what it was like to have complete freedom, and how we could all be collaborative about that. K had made me feel safe as a player in a different game, which in turn made me realize exactly how UNsafe I had been feeling up until then. (Some burdens you can’t feel until you put them down.) So I jumped on the opportunity to game with him as an ST so I could feel that a bit more. In-character play leads to out-of-character evolution. I’ll take it. I’ll take it every chance I can.

TR and I had a talk which reminded me of a quote from Neil Gaiman. “Just because a story never happened, doesn’t mean it isn’t true.” Sometimes bigger truths are revealed through small fictions. I am grateful to have met these guys, really. All of them are awesome.

I tried gaming with MQfor the first time. I’d do that again, thank you. I’m not sure how I feel about the Seven Wonders system, but I like the IDEA of it very much. I love the front cover of the book too, like anything and everything can and does happen.

I got more JB than I usually get, and that was lovely. I’m so glad he’s not tired of me. I’m absolutely going to do more of that if he lets me. His Bulldogs game with CV was a blast (I loved the Ursemenite claiming to go through rehab and complaining because he got caffeinated iced tea sending it back for a decaf) and like everything in Bulldogs, it’s all gold. His Dune game was awesome too, though I accidentally figured out the plot line very early in the game, I didn’t KNOW I figured it out…so it was like Conspiracy Theory where I didn’t know which theory I guessed was right. I played that twice, once with C and R, and the next with RF and JF. I was just glad to be at the table, and the tone of the two games was very different, which was also interesting.

Final Girl was wonderful as always…a monster movie in the Australian Outback, and one of the characters I invented turned out to be the betrayer of the party. It’s always a wonderful way to end the con. It was great. It also had JB AND KS at the table, so that was like I lucked into a Bonus Round. Super fun all around.

Thank you all. I’ll be around as long as you’ll have me at your various tables!